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Allegedly Genuine Extracts from Letters Sent to a Council by Tenants
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I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his
foot in the hole in his back passage.
The lavatory is blocked, this is caused by the boys next door throwing their
balls on the roof.
This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.
The toilet seat is cracked, where do I stand.
I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.
I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is
about to become an expectant mother.
I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my
knob off.
I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yesterday my wife tripped
on it and is now pregnant.
Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so
will you please send someone to do something about it.
Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not
fit to drink.
Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and
need it straight away.
I awoke this morning and found my water boiling.
This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we cannot
get BBC2.
Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe stuck in
it and it is very uncomfortable for us.
I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5.30 his
cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.
When I applied for a rebate you said that you would have to take something off.
Now that you have taken it off, I have been told that you should have put some
on. So will you please take off what you took off and put on what you should
have put on when you took it off.
When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and
made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my
wife happy.
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