| |
On the first official flight of the 777 a number of high placed persons where
invited (clinton, gates, ...). The plane takes off and after a few minutes the
passengers hear through the loudspeakers:
'This is your automatic pilot speaking. Our altitude is 33.000 feet, the
temperature outside is -56 degrees centigrade. You're flying with the latest
airplane of Boeing. This plane is completely automated. It automatically takes
off, flies and lands. Thanks to this fully automatic system nothing can go wrong
anymore ...go wrong anymore ... go wrong anymore ...'
A DC-10 is flying through VERY bad weather. One of the air hostess notes a
passenger who is very pale, sweating, holding his armrests, ...
'Sir, there is nothing to be afraid of. This plane is build to withstand much
worse than this'
'Miss' the passenger answers, 'I'm head of the engineering department which
developed this plane. And I do know that it has not been developed to take this'
Captain Jones flies his last flight before retirement. At a certain moment he
thinks: 'What the heck, this is my last flight anyway'. He starts a dive with
his 747, gaining a lot of speed, then pulls the stick to himself and completes a
looping.
Comes a man out of the toilet saying:' If that's your idea of being funny...'
Captain Smith has just finished briefing the passengers about the altitude,
speed, temperature etc. He ends with: 'Estimated time of arrival is in
approximately 2 hours'. He forgets, however, to shut of the mike and tells his
co-pilot:
'So, when I arrive in Paris I'm going to lay Sheila the air hostess again'.
Sheila hears this and immediately runs to the cabin. In the first row an old
lady stops her and says: ' No need to hurry, we still have another two hours'
A dutch pilot approaches the landing strip of the JFK in New York. He is almost
at stalling speed. He sets down the plane right at the beginning of the landing
strip, starts braking all he can, all motors full speed reverse. He stops with
the nose of the plane over the end of the runway.
'Jesus, the americans are crazy. So short runways, and at the same time soooooo
large....'
|
|